A friend of the same age who once had a relationship got married.
She belongs to a person who will not post more than three circles of friends a year, and her daily life is far from the hot social network. Only one was issued on the day of receipt of the certificate, and there was no romantic copy, a simple “love” symbol, and then a bright red marriage certificate.
Just-when you know a little about a person’s previous romantic history, you see her jumping off those old love festival trains, and the dust settles suddenly.
It was shocking.
I have always been afraid of getting married. Girls’ generation of marriage only had an impression of “going into the dunya”. Later, I was busy with work and had no time to change this impression. I saw this friend’s state that day, but I felt very different.
She is not from Shanghai, her hometown is in the north, and she married and settled in Shanghai with another person. She must have made many, many important decisions, including work, house, and how to settle down for the parents of the two parties. Don’t think “it looks very boring. “Any decision requires careful planning-you need to be an adult who “will plan.”
And a lot of courage.
What is the end of Girls’ Generation? It’s that you no longer float high in the clear sky, and only worry about today’s makeup or how often boys respond to messages. Your sorrows are now smashed into the hard ground, become simple, and become closely related. Food and clothing are just like cash crops in the field. No matter how luxuriantly they grow, it has nothing to do with beauty, just because they are close to the word “livelihood.”
I talked about a topic in a group chat with my friends: If you are going to get married with your current boyfriend tomorrow, will you run away overnight?
Although we all have boyfriends who have stable relationships and have met our parents, this topic still scared us.
“It’s not that I don’t want to marry him, but at the same time it is possible to escape.”
What does it mean to be married? It doesn’t mean that just meeting that person prompts you to make this decision, but it means that you have to become more brave and bravely accept all the consequences of binding your life to another person. The good or the bad you have to do it alone. Take it all… The same is true for love, but breaking up in love is just a matter of two sentences, divorce is not.
Marriage is to take a lot of risks, and the risk of taking is getting bigger and bigger, which happens to be a sign of our growth.
The 10-year-old Bravery told the teacher that he was wrong on this question and he should deduct two more points; the 18-year-old Bravery told the person who had a crush for many years, “I like you, just want to tell you and give myself an account.” Weeping and accepting his refusal; the 25-year-old brave is quitting, starting a business, moving, or breaking up with someone in a big city, staying up all night, and going to work on time the next day.
The price we have to bear is getting higher and higher, and we are being forced to become more and more brave. Are these strangers? Take a closer look, these are really grown up.
I have written for a long time, answering questions to many people. In fact, deep in my heart, I still feel that I “know nothing and can’t bear anything.” That may be because I have never entered a real life. Excessive time on campus has “softened” everything, but I know that the outside world is not like this-we have to “like adults” and others don’t give us much patience.
An impressive little thing, when I was about to graduate, I ran between Shanghai and Hangzhou. One time I was queuing up at the high-speed rail station with a heavy suitcase. I couldn’t move it. I moved a little slower, and the people behind were impatient. Sigh.
Of course, this is nothing, but everything that we will face afterwards is exactly the same in nature. Run, run, run, don’t drag others down, in work, in life…
Real life is an unstoppable “battle” day after day-paying off the mortgage, worrying about being fired from the company, paying attention to the division of property after divorce in advance… and starting to reduce from being too lazy to calculate to being happy to set an alarm clock to buy food on the phone.
The wave of life has begun to hit the face.
It can also be seen from the experience of friends. Last year, her trouble was that her parents didn’t want her to dye her hair, or the popular one she liked on the selection program was not in the top three. This year, when she joined work, she met a demanding leader who somehow asked her to stay in the company until midnight and was not allowed to go home.
“I went to the bathroom to cry, and I regretted it after I cried. I didn’t bring anything to touch up my makeup today. What if I was seen by another colleague later?”
At this moment, I think of a sharp sentence: Welcome to the REAL life.
No one can escape life, and getting married is not the life of the most life?
There is a classic plot in “Love in the Time of Cholera”, a well-known couple that everyone admires, lives in a mansion, and lives in a stable life. After many years of marriage, they quarreled because of a small piece of soap one day, and they almost got divorced.
What is “soap”? But as inconspicuous and unromantic as soap, it is the real life. Jian Zhen commented in “The Faint Woods”:
“(Wait until we get old) Once we turned to dust and the theater shed was demolished, who remembers the mundane things like soap and toilet paper? The beautiful and sad memories were picked up by the men and women who had a love for the first time, but we have names and names. His life will never come again, like soap melted into bubbles and paper melted into paste.
Marriage may mean that you have to start accepting that one day in your life will become a “melted paper”, you have to start contacting the most delicate and blunt part of life, the ambiguous tricks you have experienced before, small troubles, etc. All are too light and different from life, you not only have to accept firewood, rice, oil and salt, but also embrace them wholeheartedly.
Is marriage scary? For me, who is not embarrassed or embarrassed at the age of 24, it is still terrible, and I am “still afraid of being swallowed up by daily life.” It’s just that I tried to find a turning point in the past, and then I gradually discovered that only people who are really determined to devote themselves to the most ordinary and boring life can live a “expressive part” from a lot of life that has nothing to say. .
I all know that being afraid of marriage is not afraid of marriage itself, but because I am afraid that I will take the initiative to take the initiative, my life will only be the same ordinary:
stove, dining table, washing machine…
My good friend @An zaiye wrote a paragraph and liked it very much:
“If one day I no longer write illusory words, no longer only love the moon and stars and distant coasts, and no longer wear heavy makeup and take selfies in bikinis. If from that day on I become a housewife, I will start loving each other, my work and rest will gradually regular and healthy, from around the dressing table to around the stove, even this, even that, I have never been defeated by life, I have re-participated in life.”
It’s a bit of enlightenment: ordinary is never derogatory, but a peaceful and winding road. We all tried not to take this path and go something else. One day we had nowhere but to turn around and
walk here again, only to find that it was not that embarrassing.
I wish us a happy return to life.
I wish us in the ordinary and boring trivial life, from the crumbs and scum of a place, we can find what we really want. Maybe one day, just like a thunder on the ground, you finish the bowl and sleep the child. Falling out of the moon outside the window, the back of your head lightly leaned on the pillow-just in such a rustling scene, when you hit you at a certain moment, you suddenly understand the true meaning of life.