Occasionally, I would rub a VLOG on a pair of Shenzhen lovers tiktok. The content of the copybook is: what is the most comfortable couple living together?
In the video, there is not too much dialogue between the couple. From stepping into the elevator back home together, they naturally put their arms around each other’s shoulders.
When they get home, the boy will pour a glass of wine in the refrigerator, occasionally with a few pieces of ice, but also do not forget to pour the girl a glass of milk or juice she likes.
Girls will prepare some fruits and snacks. They will sit on the ground with their back to the camera in front of the table. Sometimes they will lean together to watch the same movie. Sometimes they will continue their unfinished work.
There was little communication between them. Just in the occasional eye contact, will raise their own cup and toast each other, and then turn to continue to do the thing at hand.
The contents of many issues are similar. It is strange that there is not too much communication between the two people, but it does not make people feel unfamiliar. Instead, we will feel a tacit understanding between them that grows naturally over time.
Maybe it’s that everyone has different standards for love. Occasionally, some people in the comments say they don’t like this kind of lovers’ life, but for me, I still feel yearning for it.
I have received a letter from a reader on wechat before:
She and her boyfriend have been long-distance love, until they choose to go to the same city after graduation, then began to live together.
For the first few months, they were very sweet. The long long-distance love time made her and her boyfriend cherish the opportunity to live together.
Her boyfriend would pick her up from work every day, and occasionally the other party would work late into the night and wait for each other at home.
She is introverted by nature. It is difficult for her to communicate with her colleagues in the company except for work communication. After staying in a strange city for several months, she still hasn’t made any new friends.
And her boyfriend’s personality is more open-minded, good at communication. At the same time, the nature of his work requires frequent contact with others, and he has made many friends.
With his performance going up, naturally, there are more social gatherings. So he was able to spend less time with her.
A quarrel began to break out between her and her boyfriend. Because he can no longer return the message as before, the frequency of picking her up from work is less and less, and the frequency of coming home late is more and more.
She was distressed, but she didn’t want to end the relationship that had lasted for several years. She said she didn’t understand why she had been through the long-distance face in the past few years, but had the most quarrel in the history in the past few months?
“Are we really inappropriate?” This is the last question she asked me after telling her story.
In fact, it’s not inappropriate. It’s just that sometimes we indulge in a close relationship and feel that intimacy is a necessity. But it is difficult to bear and solve some problems exposed by intimacy.
When you regard the other person as the whole of your life, but the other party does not, this is undoubtedly a kind of pressure on others, but also a kind of torture to yourself.
Love is not the only life for adults. The long-term premise is understanding and mutual tolerance, rather than simply pursuing intimacy and stickiness.
I like a sentence on microblog
“You work hard, you live well, you grow up, you love me”
When he goes to the library, you can choose to make a set of papers.
When he plays with his friends, you can also ask your roommate to go shopping.
When he is busy at work, you can watch a movie you like.
The most comfortable state of love is that both sides understand that you are in love and independent and free at the same time.
Love people to keep a proper distance. You have some intersection, the other part belongs to you.
Both sides love each other, respect each other’s circle of friends, and never interfere with each other’s bottom line.
Day after day 24 hours are tired of together love is not necessarily long, burnout period will never disappear, and life is not only composed of lovers.
There are many elements of happiness. Don’t put all your emotions on one person.
Close and independent, and love you at the same time.