There was a hot search before, “What’s the experience of a boyfriend willing to spend money?” I turned to a comment, which was left by a boy and said that he was paid 5000 and bought a gucci belt for his girlfriend because she liked it, so Want to give it to her.

It’s weird. I didn’t feel very moved or anything. After I saw it, there was only one sentence in my head:

[No need, really no need].

I thought to myself, tusk, how could I be unmoved by this, am I too snob? So I talked to a friend about this comment, and I asked, if a boy’s salary of 5,000 would cost you 3,000, would you find this very romantic?

As a result, my friends said: No.

——This expenditure ratio is not normal.

——With this mind, you can use it for thinking about your work, so you can earn more.

——Some boys often say “other girls have xxx, so my girlfriend should have them too”, but what about other girls and Hermes? Of course this is out of good intentions, but I can’t understand this kind of love that is more recent.

I don’t know how old the readers are looking at this article. You may think differently from me. But I do want to say that for the 24-year-old me, this behavior is… quite unacceptable.

why? First, you really need to spend less wages when you are young. After all, it is raw capital, which determines your future upside to a certain extent. Second, you can spend a lot of money
occasionally, but a belt is not enough. People who really need to spend 5,000 to buy a belt will have to earn one million every year. Buying a useful home appliance is smarter than this.

Third, and most importantly, if a partner uses this method to “make me happy”, I will only think that he is still too childish, especially like the 18-year-old beginning of Love, who can do whatever he wants to love. I value love too much. I love food and drink next month, and I don’t have my own focus in life. It seems that 90% of my life is changed to prove “how I love you”. I can’t stand this.

When you grow up, you will find that what really makes people feel safe in the relationship is not how the other person loves you hysterically, but that the other person is a person who can live a solid life well. It is predictable that you are with him. Plain but secure.

Rather than expressing my feelings with gucci, which I have saved for three months, I would like to see you make progress in your work, have a clear plan of rethinking, and recognize your ability.

Rather than buying a cup of hot milk tea for my two-hour team, I would like to see you spend this time reading more books, learning one more course, or chatting with friends about industry trends.

Rather than earning 5,000 and spending 3,000, or making ends meet just to buy me expensive suits, I want to see that you have the ability to manage money for a family and know where the money should be spent and where it should not be spent.

Is this boring and realistic? Maybe it is.

However, “To love someone is to love for a long time”. It is not a short period of time to frequently use excessive methods to get close to the so-called “romance” or “loyalty”-the poor boy spends all his money to buy a treasure for a beautiful lover Li’s necklace. After the payment, the two people ran hand in hand in the dusk. The necklace on the lover’s neck shone like the eyes. Is it beautiful, beautiful, but this is a movie.

When we were young, we were moved by similar plots, such as work-study for three months just to give a girl a pair of high heels, because when we were young, we really fell in love with “you are willing to pay such a big price for me at this moment.” Sweetly finalized, “This must be true love”.

We will prove love in the most difficult way. You have no money but you are willing to spend money for me. Well, you love me.

But it proved this, then?

To keep life going, “no money” itself is a big problem.

Where I live now, the rent is 6,000 a month, the average take-out price is 40, and the minimum per capita for eating out (excluding fast food) is 100. At this time, if a boyfriend who doesn’t earn much tells me, my salary cost three. I will buy you two-thirds of the bag, and I will only tell him to return it. It’s not time to give me this bag.

I mean, I don’t like swollen face to fill the fat man’s love. It can’t last long, and it takes too much emotional effort-“I paid you so much and you still treat me this way?!” , This sense of debt is terrible. It does not mean that spending money makes people feel wrong, but that a gift of 500 from a person with a salary of 5,000 will not make people feel owed, and a gift of 3,000 will really do.

To have a stable relationship requires that we all grow up to be self-reliant, mature, and complete individuals with a reasonable life order. On this basis, we can give the other party appropriate contributions and obtain appropriate returns. Paying too little causes suspicion and suspicion, but paying too much is also unhealthy. When a boy spends almost a month’s salary just to buy a big-brand bag for his girlfriend, things have gone far away. “I just want to make her Happy” this level.

Girls, too, don’t save money to give gifts to boyfriends, give them what you can afford.

What “love you so much that I have no savings”, what “how can I do for you”…Should not use such extreme and naive methods to express love, really.

The true expression of “love” is embodied in an extremely daily, extremely real and extremely life-like companionship, such as remembering your mild cold, helping you buy back office appliances that you carelessly forgot to buy. I went downstairs in the cold wind and threw rubbish several times…These are very common, and they are so common that they are not shocking to write, but it is the many, many moments of “I put you in my heart” that can accumulate and become your relationship with this relationship. Faith.

That kind of performance love is not bad, it is meaningless after seeing it through.

Because life is not acting.

We should love others on the basis of being able to live a good life, instead of loving someone so much that we are in danger.