These two days, I heard a wonderful love story from my colleagues.
A girl got married at the age of 28 and had no children for two years. After marriage, the man went to the city alone and said he was doing a little business. In a year, he seldom came back several times, but he didn’t even touch her. The woman’s intuition made her suspect that her husband was cheating.
Sure enough, her husband went bankrupt and dodged debts everywhere. And the third person he’s looking for is still giving birth in the hospital. The man called her and begged her for help. At the beginning, she was very angry and disagreed, but in the end, she went to the city, helped her pay the medical expenses, and helped her contact her family.
The colleague finally concluded: “this woman is really sensible. If I were, I would certainly not swallow this tone.”
After hearing this story, I feel aggrieved for her. Clearly she is a victim, but she has to help her cheating husband and pay the medical expenses for the third child.
At that moment, I also saw many familiar shadows from her. They are strong and restrained. They can always handle everything by themselves. They can’t see other people’s pain. They are always unconditionally soft hearted.
In the eyes of others, they are extremely sensible.
But only they know, sensible really too tired.
Too sensible woman, live too tired
On Zhihu someone asked: What is it like to be a sensible woman?
One reply said:
A sensible woman, no matter how much grievance she has suffered, will be tolerant to say “it doesn’t matter”; no matter how sad she is in her heart, she will quietly say “I’m fine”; no matter how helpless a person is, she will always smile stubbornly.
I am deeply impressed by such answers.
Too sensible woman, destined to have a very tired life travel.
A netizen left a message about her own story.
I was taught by my parents to be independent and not to trouble others. She has been adhering to such a living method, married, she thinks her husband is not easy.
So she does the housework, cooks, moves, and comes by herself. Even Valentine’s day, Christmas, even if she craves again, she won’t ask for it. As time went on, her husband became more and more reasonable. Of course, she was more and more aggrieved and felt that she had never been loved.
Finally, she left a message: “in the world of love, most sensible women are very aggrieved. Is it because after a long time, women’s understanding and understanding have become a matter of course in men’s eyes.”
I understand her, but I also wanted to say “deserved it” back to her.
Why do you think so of her? Because she’s so sensible.
Wu Zhihong said: “sensible, is a deep despair.”
The more sensible a woman is, the more aggrieved she will be and the more desperate she will be to marriage.
In marriage, all the efforts and risks should not be based on the one-sided inequality. Only by equal relationship can we keep the balance between taking and giving.
When you are too sensible to restrain yourself, do not take the initiative, do not refuse, not only live tired, but also the chronic poison of emotion.
In the long run, you’ll be exhausted and scarred. Marriage is going to collapse.
So women, in a relationship really don’t need you to be sensible.
Woman, the last thing you need is to be sensible
As an audience, I have been fighting for Tong Liya.
Because she is too sensible, sensible let me heartache.
In 2014, Chen Sicheng and Tong Liya held a Chinese wedding in the first issue of happy camp. On the stage, Tong Liya is gorgeous and charming, and Chen Sicheng is affectionate and tender.
At the scene, Tong Liya’s father said: “I’ll give my daughter to the old Chen’s family today. I hope she can do more work, cook for old Chen, serve him when she arrives, and take time to see us.”
This sentence caused a heated discussion among netizens. Perhaps Tong Liya’s understanding comes from her family.
In January 2017, Tong Liya had just given birth to her child, and Chen Sicheng was betrayed. In an exclusive interview, Chen Sicheng defended that “everyone will cheat.” And Tong Liya said softly, “it’s good for me to go home.”
Tong Liya is really sensible. She has been working hard to do a good job in helping her husband. She is worthy of Chen Sicheng. She does not complain even though she silently bears her husband’s betrayal and carries the hardships of taking care of children.
Not only for marriage, but also for family, she is very sensible.
In the Spring Festival of 2018, she wrote in a micro blog: “the concept of home seems not strong. There are four people in the family, but during the Spring Festival, they are separated by thousands of miles and their homes are destroyed. When I went to visit my grandmother and brother who had left, my tears ran out in my heart. The uncle said that my family’s graveyard did not belong to me, because I would belong to someone else’s family. It seems that even if I die, I can’t be reunited with my family. That’s the rule!
This micro blog, I am full of heartache. At that moment, Tong Liya was sensible and aggrieved.
In fact, she did not need to be so sensible, carrying such heavy luggage.
Finally, when Tong Liya yelled out in the movie, “I am the most beautiful in the world,” I know she has changed. She is trying to take over the drama, trying to bloom her acting skills, trying to escape from the glory of others, and trying to jump out of the sensible image her father set for her.
As the wonderful flower said, Chen Ming said: “the correct view of love should be to make each other better. Never be in debt with each other. In every love, let yourself be better and attract each other’s souls. This kind of love view is light, beautiful and comfortable.”
Tong Liya has lived her own life, she has become “not sensible”, become more personality, more brilliant.
Therefore, the last thing a woman should not do in her life is to be too sensible and live for others.
Only to be a selfish, angular, living for their own women, will be more attractive.
For the rest of your life, I wish you to be an ignorant woman
Su Qin, an emotional writer, said: “most women who are too sensible have a bad life. She thinks that love is at the cost of wronging herself. It’s like crying children who have sugar to eat. Happiness is sometimes willful.”
The entertainment industry, the marriage between Huo Siyan and Du Jiang is enviable.
In love, Huo Siyan has always been a “ignorant” woman.
She was lying on the sofa, too lazy to move. Let her husband carry herself to the bed;
She was filming in the crew, afraid that she could not eat well or sleep well, so she left her husband beside her and went shopping with her;
She’s taking the kids at home, uh huh, getting angry with her. She immediately called her husband and complained about her grievances. After receiving the phone call, Du Jiang immediately went home and taught from his wife’s point of view, HMM: “tell you, your mother is angry, which is more serious than mine. As long as mom talks, I’ll be home in half an hour, you know? ”
Their marriage, let me see the most tender appearance in love.
There is a hot comment in Netease cloud, which is suitable for evaluating them:
“I’ve been forcibly giving you something, my time, my love, my mischievous, my ferocity and loveliness. I never asked if you want it or not. All I know is that I never give it to anyone else.”
Love and marriage are never dominated by understanding and restraint.
When it’s time to fight for rights and interests, express your ideas aloud, and cry out when you are wronged. Keep personality, keep a little bit of mischief, with tolerance to face marriage, so as to be more durable.
Just like Huo Siyan, it is because of her “ignorance” that she can make the family more warm.
The best size for all people to get along with each other is to be reasonable and tolerant.
Someone said, “if a man dotes on a woman, it can last forever. If a woman dotes on a man, most of them will go their separate ways. The more spoiled and dependent a woman is, the more motivated a man is to be properly ignored. As a result, the combination of warm men and women tends to love each other more cruelly, while sensible women are easy to be dumped. So girls don’t be too good, love will not leave.”
The most stupid feeling is that you spare no effort to be sensible. For those who love you, you don’t need to be sensible. He will come with you to face the beauty and suffering of life.
Remember, maybe you are not so good, but you are still a unique existence, worthy of being loved by the most loved ones.
Do not be sensible, lost to love the best yearning.