If your mother had cancer, would you sell your house to save her? Most people answered “save” without hesitation. But would you like to change this person into mother-in-law or mother-in-law? In the face of this problem, a popular video on the Internet has given many people’s answers. Four men with different styles were interviewed, but they gave the same answer: No. The first man thought that his mother-in-law had her own son and could not be saved by him.

The second man said indignantly that she had received enough betrothal money to save her a hundred time. Why should I save it?

The third man was a little embarrassed. He told the interviewer in a low voice that his relationship with his wife was not so good, and he euphemistically expressed his position that he would not be saved.

The fourth man hesitated for a while and finally said that his mother-in-law is better than himself.

Sure enough, there was a row in the comment area. A girl scolded: “that’s my mother. Why don’t you save it? If you don’t help, don’t ask me to contribute when your mother is sick! ” The boy was not willing to show his weakness and replied: “that’s your mother, not my mother. You won’t sell the house for you!” At the same time, there are also some voices that say that money can be earned again, and that people will be completely lost if they have no money. They think it is still time to save. In fact, they are not wrong. For modern people, marriage is like a joint venture. In an enterprise, rights and obligations are equal. There is no love or hatred for no reason. If your partner chooses not to save, she or he will not be able to do anything. In the adult world, how much emotion is vulnerable to money and disease. If a partner chooses to save, it is the affection for the other half. His money is not only spent for his mother-in-law, but also for his wife. This is a great contribution and trust. Don’t overestimate feelings, do not underestimate people’s hearts, and be considerate before criticizing. Only by being considerate in everything can we live a stable life.

1 、 Don’t overestimate a relationship

Some time ago, there was a news that caused heated discussion among netizens. Because Mr. Zhang’s mother in Xiaoshan, Hangzhou, is suffering from uremia, So he talked to his wife, hoping to take out his husband and wife’s savings of 150000 to cure his mother, but his wife refused. The wife said that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been very bad. If they take the hard-earned money they have saved from frugality to save this kind of mother-in-law, she is absolutely not willing to. There is a netizen carefully for this wife, calculate a account.Uremia requires kidney transplantation. Kidney transplantation costs about 400000 to 500000 yuan, and the follow-up medical expenses vary from 6000 to 10000 yuan a year. If the person is rescued, after 5 to 10 years kidney failure, need to look for kidney source to do operation again, where to come at that time money? If people don’t get it back and the money is gone, where will the future family expenses, debts and children’s school expenses come from? Mr. Zhang thinks that the couple’s years of affection can make his wife willingly pay for his mother’s treatment. But he has forgotten that life is not a TV play, and that fuel, oil and salt is the main theme of reality. Most people are not big money rich, most people are not able to spend a lot of money. We need to carefully calculate every account in our life to make ourselves more comfortable. And at this time, feelings are not as valuable as we think. A netizen told me his own experience. She and her husband have been husband and wife for ten years, and when they were chatting, she asked questions like “if I was seriously ill, would you save me?”. The husband is always quick to answer her, broke down also be saved. She also believed that two favors are stronger than gold, and neither of them will abandon each other. But not long ago, her breast grew a lump, went to the hospital for examination, the doctor told her to be ready for psychological, it is likely to be a tumor. She was so flustered that she went to her husband and asked him to prepare more money. But the husband faltered, saying that the family’s funds were all in the financial management, and could not be withdrawn regularly. She had no doubt at that time, but she accidentally saw her husband and friends chatting on wechat at night.

“I checked, if it is a malignant tumor, the cost may cost hundreds of thousands of yuan.”

“What are you going to do, sell the house?” Asked her husband friend.

“It’s impossible to sell a house. I’m going to treat him first. If it doesn’t work, I’ll get a divorce. I can’t spend my whole life for her. ” Said the husband.

This is like a basin of cold water, pouring her heart

Ten years of husband and wife’s love, lost to a possible disease.

It is said that marriage and love are totally different things. I think it is mainly because, in fact, the advantages and disadvantages of marriage life in contemporary society are greater than feelings.

When we choose a mate, we set a variety of standard threshold, when we get married, we put forward various request rituals, in order to weigh clearly whether the partner in front of us has the ability to give ourselves a good enough future? Husband and wife are birds of the same forest, and they fly separately in the face of disaster. People are selfish. Most of the time, partners can only share weal and woe with each other. Don’t take other people’s words seriously. Don’t overestimate the feelings between people. Don’t take the responsibility shared by others and you for granted. There is no filial son before the bed of long illness, what’s more, they are not connected in the same vein.

2、Don’t underestimate people’s heart, everything will be heart to heart.

There is a saying in the book of Songs: give a peach and repay it with a plum. If you give me a peach, I will repay you with a plum.The relationship between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law, son-in-law and mother-in-law should not be the same? Zhihu has such a question and answer: will you take out all your belongings to save your mother-in-law? In the answer, the two answers with the highest praise number chose to save. One of the respondents was a mother. She said she was pregnant when her father-in-law had cancer. Her husband took all the savings in the family to pay her father-in-law’s high medical expenses, but she did not complain at all. She thought she would if her husband wanted to. The other respondent was a married girl. As soon as she entered her husband’s house, her father-in-law and her mother-in-law gave her a red envelope and asked her husband to buy more clothes for her; Her mother-in-law takes care of her usual food and does not let her do a heavy work during her confinement. She said that her mother-in-law treated her like a daughter. When they were in trouble, she could not repay her kindness. No money can be made again, but other people’s good to you, can’t do without reporting. Most of the time, love is mutual. Only when you are good to others can they be willing to lend a helping hand. This is the nature of marriage. Only when two people or two families make equal efforts for this marriage, can the marriage be sustained for a long time. According to Tao Te Ching,  if you want to take it, you must give it first. The society is very realistic, but people’s hearts are full of flesh. Only when you share your love with others can you gain the kindness of others. When Liu Tao’s husband declared bankruptcy, she had been in the shadow for many years. But when the family faced a major crisis, she stood up without hesitation, returned to work, and helped her husband pay off the debt without complaint. When asked why she paid so much, she said with a smile, because her husband and mother-in-law are very good to themselves, and she loves this family. We always say that the daughter-in-law is not filial to her mother-in-law, and the son-in-law does not want to see his mother-in-law. But if the mother-in-law is like a daughter-in-law, the mother-in-law should not always be picky about her son-in-law. Who would like to be envious every time they meet. People’s hearts need to be changed. Gratitude is always from the heart. So sometimes, it’s not that your partner doesn’t want to save, but there is no reason for him to choose to save.

3、It is better to ask for oneself than others early years, Yang Mi was asked such a question when she was on the Venus show. If you want to buy a house for your parents, will you discuss it with your husband? Yang Mi smiles and says she won’t because she has enough money to buy it. It’s the safest thing for a man to rely on himself, because no one in the world lives for you, and no one has the obligation to help you take responsibility and difficulties. Most of the time, in the face of emergencies, we can only solve them by ourselves. Women also only rely on their own life, will have the confidence to face everything. Not all your grievances can be felt by someone, not all the wind and rain will be carried for you. Children who don’t have umbrellas need to run harder. The more they have nothing, the more they should strive to become independent adults with independent economy, clear mind and strong heart. The road depends on oneself to walk, can walk wider. When we can rely on ourselves, we have more choices. You will have enough money and ability to take care of your parents when they are sick. You can even have the choice to help your partner’s parents when they need help. I have a friend who started his own business. Some time ago, her mother was ill and needed to pay a large amount of medical expenses. Friends around us were worried about her and asked if she needed her husband. Friends said that she has the ability to have money to take care of her mother, why do she have to find her husband to get money. Taking care of your mother is your own responsibility. There is no need to ask others. Isn’t it just because of the confidence that a friend can say such a thing? Poor husband and wife are always sad. When you don’t lack bread, love will be stable. The writer Yishu once sighed that it is a heavy burden for anyone who will take care of them all their life, so you have to be independent. No one will take care of you for a lifetime, no one will accompany you through a complete life. It is better to rely on one’s own efforts rather than ask others to help them in time of crisis. Instead of seeking great wealth and great wealth, one should have a clear conscience.

4、As for marriage, some people say that one day husband and wife are grateful for one hundred days, while others say that when disaster comes, they will fly separately. Every marriage has its own state, and every marriage will encounter big and small problems. Every family has a difficult lesson to read. Don’t overestimate a relationship. Sometimes it’s just a spice for life. Don’t underestimate your partner’s heart, your good he will see in the eye, remember in the heart. But if you are strong enough, these difficulties are negligible. May one day, when parents need to take care of you, you will have enough money and ability to accompany them through difficulties. I also hope that when your partner asks for help, you can make the right choice. You are worthy of your heart and just ask for peace of mind.