A few days ago, I reposted a piece of Chen Dali’s article “Don’t you dare get married”, and received several readers’ comments, saying that it really needs courage to marry, which means more responsibilities, more giving and more compromises.
Especially for many girls, marriage is the transformation from a glittering, free-spirited and unrestrained young girl to a “housewife” who makes soup by their own hands and revolves around the house, car and children,
They will be uneasy, panic, and fear. They will tangle. It really couldn’t be more normal.
However, even so, many girls still feel that if they can create a warm home with their loved ones, it is also a very happy and worthwhile thing.
If they really meet the one they love, they can leave these anxieties and panic behind and go on another way of life with him without hesitation.
So, what kind of performance does a boyfriend have that makes a girl feel that in her whole life, she has recognized him and that it’s good to marry him?
There was a classic conversation between San Mao and He Xi.
He Xi: do you have to marry a rich man?
San Mao: if I don’t love him, I will not marry him even through he is a millionaire. If I love him, I will marry him if he is a multimillionaire.
He Xi: … After all, you still have to marry the rich.
San Mao: there are exceptions.
He Xi: what about me?
San Mao: So long as you have enough money to eat.
He Xi: do you eat much?
San Mao: not much, not much. Maybe eat less in the future.
True love has nothing to do with money. Many girls are not so realistic when they are looking for boyfriends.
In our present society, as long as one person is willing to work hard and give, he can make money. Two people work together, the house can be bought slowly, there will be cars, and life is always full of hope.
What girls hate the most are boys who are so poor that they can’t get ahead and take it for granted.
They are picky at work, only talk about things, never work seriously, smoke and drink when they are free, and play games. They are not willing to fight for the future life. Finally, girls can’t stand to leave them. They also publicize that girls dislike poverty and love wealth, and girls are too materialistic.
After all, love can have nothing to do with money, but if marriage does not have a certain economic basis, it is like a broken thatched cottage that can hardly stand the test of wind and rain.
So, for a girl to be willing to marry a man, he must be self-motivated, willing to bear hardships, work hard, make money seriously, and work together for the future of the family.
Sense of responsibility
Being responsible is the most basic and important quality of a man.
In fact, as for a lot of emotional problems, the root is that man do not have enough sense of responsibility.
There are so many temptations in this world, especially after marriage, a dull life may dull the passion of the past, but a responsible man will always keep his own principle in mind.
In the face of temptation, they need to have strong self-control to resist it and take responsibility for their vows.
They will take the responsibility of taking care of the family, go home after work, do housework with their wives and take care of their children.
A man with a strong sense of responsibility can be seen when he is in love. He will not promise casually. He will try his best do everything he promised. He will also pay special attention to the boundaries with other members of the opposite sex. He will not do anything to worry his girlfriend.
Sense of ceremony
Most of our life is as plain as water. We need to have a certain sense of ceremony and live an ordinary life in a poetic way.
Such a man, after a long married life, could let the girl forget the tedium of life, often feel warmth and good.
A ritualistic boyfriend will remember your sweetest moments, prepare surprises for you on important and meaningful days, and make your life more romantic.
In fact, sometimes, girls really don’t need expensive gifts. What they want is just the thought. What they care about is just your attitude.
Respect her from the bottom of your heart
Obviously already in 2020, but there are still a lot of straight men with advanced cancer who do not know how to spell the word of respect.
Many men still think that it’s a woman’s job to buy vegetables and cook with children, which has nothing to do with men. To marry a girl is to let her be filial to her parents-in-law and to teach their children.
For this kind of idea of men, girls have only one response—he he da. The boyfriend they want to find is definitely not like this.
A man who makes a girl want to marry must respect her from the bottom of his heart. They need to understand that a woman is an independent individual who also have her own dream, her own business.
They will see the value of girls, recognize their giving, and appreciate their sacrifice.
Maybe the family division of labor is different, but they understand that every kind of work is not easy. Once they have the opportunity, they will be willing to do something to share the pressure of girls.
Ability to deal with contradictions
There must be a lot of contradictions when two people live together.
If a man is always afraid of contradiction, does not admit the problems between two people, and thinks that all things are girls’ thinking too much, he will only say some pleasant words and fool the past, such a man will make girls feel unreliable.
There are also some men who, in the face of problems in their relationship, will only have a cold war, and feel that in a few days, women will figure it out for themselves, and this matter will be passed.
Girls really are not irrational people. They just like a kitten, coax and tease will be ok.
A mature man is not afraid of conflict in his relationship, because he knows it is inevitable.
But they know that there are big and small emotional problems, which can be coaxed out on their own initiative. However, problems related to principles must be dealt with carefully and quietly.
Not stupid and filial
One of the things that many girls fear the most when faced with the issue of marriage is that the mother-in-law contradictions.
The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been a problem since ancient times. Girls want boys to have a neutral and objective attitude when dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Don’t be foolish and filial. Under the banner of “my mother is so old, it’s not easy to raise me up”, blindly ask his wife to give in and compromise.
If men can be more intelligent and proactive, and try to make the relationship more harmonious, it will be better.
“Love really needs courage,” just like Liang Jingru sings
” With one look of affirmation from you, my love will make sense.”
For many girls, marriage is actually a huge gamble. The power that makes her step on the gambling table is her trust in you.
The love you give her is her stake.