Just happened to see two messages recently that I thought were interesting.
One of the boys said:
I used to be a real jerk. I had seven or eight girlfriends in the past two years, and I met several girls online and in bars, which add up to a dozen.
At that time, I was studying at school. I thought it was a unique and dignified thing to have many girlfriends.
My family condition and my appearance were pretty good, so it was easy to find a girlfriend.
But with them I was just having fun and never took it too seriously, so it was basically 1 or 2 months together and I got tired of them, the longest one wasn’t more than 5 months.
But in the first half of this year, I met my current girlfriend with whom I am very serious about getting married.
Our relationship was also very good. my girlfriend asked me once about my emotional experience, I said: “you are my last girlfriend.”
But still a little worried, I was afraid that if I told her my previous experience, she would think that I didn’t really want to be with her. However I was more afraid that one day she heard something from my former friend, which would be more difficult to explain.
I was really struggling …
Another girl said:
I am 28 years old. I only had one love experience before. I thought I met my true love and planned my future life with him more than once.
When we were in a stable relationship, we cohabited for half a year and I got pregnant accidentally. We thought about it for a long time and decided it wasn’t the right time to have a baby, so I aborted.
However, later, due to various practical reasons, we broke up.
In June, my family introduced a man to me. His appearance and temperament met my requirements. We could talk with each other very well. He was very fond of me.
We have just confirmed our relationship. If there is no accident, we may be ready to get married at the end of the year or next May.
However, the more I know about him, the more scared I feel. The past is like a mountain on my heart. Although I didn’t do anything wrong with my past experience, I still feel that I don’t deserve him.
I really want to tell him the truth , but I’m really afraid to lose a person I like. However if let me hide from him, cheat him, I really can’t do it.
What should I do?
In fact, these two people’s questions just correspond to a topic, that is: should there be a “confession” in the love relationship?
Different people have never had the same opinion on this issue.
Some people say that when we fall in love, we should be honest with each other. This is the source of trust. Besides, do you think you can cheat forever?
It is also said that although two people fall in love, they are actually independent individuals.
Each person may have his own secret.
There is never absolute honesty, and in love, the proper lie must be there. Some secrets can only hurt the feelings of two people.
Sister AI always thinks that honesty is the most basic and important quality in a relationship.
Lovers can be intimate only when they are honest with each other.
However, this does not mean that everything should be absolutely frank.
Two people should have the courage to meet each other naked, but after all, most of the time we still have to wear clothes!
In love, a confession bureau becomes an explosion Bureau if it doesn’t work out.
Xiao Feng and Xiao Qian almost ended their relationship because of the confession.
Xiao Feng is Xiao Qian’s first love, but Xiao Qian is not the first love of Xiao Feng. Xiao Feng has been in love twice before, especially with his ex-girlfriend. They have been together for two years, and they have a deep relationship.
At the beginning, Xiao Qian asked Xiao Feng about his love history.
But at that time, purely out of curiosity, Xiao Feng didn’t have any taboo. He told her all the previous love story, including the detail that his ex-girlfriend liked to eat grapefruit.
Xiao Qian didn’t have a deep feeling for Xiao Feng at that time, and she didn’t feel uncomfortable. Instead, she felt that he was very frank.
But after spending time together, Xiao Qian would always unconsciously compare herself with Xiao Feng’s ex-girlfriend, wondering if Xiao Feng hadn’t let go and was just fooling around with herself.
In particular, there were some small conflicts between the two people. When they quarrelled, Xiao Qian used to talk about his ex-girlfriend. She felt that Xiao Feng was not as careful about her as his ex-girlfriend, and he was not enough to love her.
Xiao Feng felt very aggrieved and impatient: you have asked me to say it at the beginning, now I’m frank, you still don’t trust me, are you just making trouble out of nothing?
The original confession bureau, which was thought to make the two people more intimate, actually became the thunder buried in the two people’s relationship, Xiao Feng and Xiao Qian are beyond regret.
Later, with the help of sister AI, the two talents finally untied their hearts and put this matter down completely.
So, for the confession Bureau in love, my advice is:
Issues concerning the interests of the other party must be clear and honest.
There must be no hidden infectious disease. If your are a poor man, don’t pretend to be rich…
As for the love experience of two people, I suggest that we try not to ask about each other’s past love history and make ourselves uncomfortable; we should not ask for trouble and take the initiative to make each other entangled.
If the other party asks about it, don’t say everything in detail.
We must only talk about the key points and never disclose the details.
You can say that you have been in love several times, but you don’t need to talk about the acquaintance process, courtship place, time and date with all your predecessors, including all their names, addresses, phone numbers, contact information, hobbies, food taboos…
You can say that you have had sexual experience, and you don’t need to say when, where and what posture you like.
Also, you must pay attention to the time. You must think how to be frank on the premise that your relationship is stable and the character of each other is more trusted.
A relationship full of security and trust is a healthy relationship.
The one who really loves you will not deny you the whole person because of your past.
Maybe your past is not so good, and he will have some mind, but he will eventually choose tolerance, choose to accept.
If you meet such a person, you must cherish him!