Recently, I read a post on Weibo.

A couple voluntarily had sex during their relationship, and then broke up due to their personality disagreement.

After the breakup, the woman felt she had suffered a loss and demanded compensation from the man, but the man felt it was a willing thing to do, so why should he pay?

A group of netizens had a heated discussion below the post.

Traditionally, when an unmarried man and woman have sex, from the man’s point of view, it is called “no loss”, while from the woman’s point of view, it is called “loss”.

In ancient times, after men and women have sex, generally he will say: “I will be responsible for it”.

Men feel that women pay the first time, it is very cherished, so they want to be responsible for a woman for life.

Whereas nowadays, men would say, “Men and women are equal, sleep with each other, after all, we are all adults, so there is no need to get hung up on who is responsible for whom.”

In the issue of who sleeps who, the whole society began to promote “gender equality”, but in fact, there are many Chinese men still have a “virginity complex”, and those non-virgin girl are still in a passive situation.

So, who is at a disadvantage when it comes to premarital sex?

I interviewed a few people.

 Chapter 1 

Being casual is paramount, we went on a trip together for half a month, booked a hotel, and just did what came naturally.

I’m not a virgin, but not a casual person. I like her and she likes me, both willingly, so why not when the love is deep?

Isn’t it blissful when two people who love each other mingle and feel each others’ breath?

If you meet the right person, don’t think about it so much, just do what you want to do and that’s fine. Now we are planning our wedding.

Besides, if we really want to talk about a disadvantage, I do think we men are at a disadvantage.

We have to arouse the girlfriend’s interest before we go to bed, take care of her feelings in the process, and then we have to give her hugs and kisses when we’re done, no indifference. Don’t you think we’re tired? We’re the most tired…

So there’s no need to be so preoccupied with who gets the worst of it; it’s a mutual process in itself.

 Chapter 2 

If you’re just dating without thinking about the future, you must be reserved. It’s okay to kiss and cuddle, but when you’re going to sleep, you must think about whether you should or not, is it worth it?

But now many girls are not like this, they always look at sex very casually, but also do not do safety measures.

As a result of the accidental pregnancy,not only injury to their own body, but also discarded by future husband.

You are not responsible for yourself, who will be responsible for you?

So women must be cautious in this area. Most of the men around me have a “virginity complex”, not all men in this area are ope.

Nowadays, in the society, the men can not be a virgin, but they demand women to be virgins, how double standard.

But we can’t help it, the environment is like this, so we must think about it carefully. Women are more or less disadvantaged when sleeping with men.

 Chapter 3 

Well… I’m embarrassed to say this, my husband and I had sex the first time we met. It was nothing special. It was just something we saw in each other. I didn’t think I’d be pregnant! Simply incredible.

But I was lucky enough to get married a few months after I got pregnant, and he was very nice to me.

In fact, I’m quite light on the matter of having sex. From the first time I had sex with my husband, I’ve always felt that it’s not that he slept with me, but that I slept with him.

In my opinion, women feel that they are at a disadvantage, and they take for granted in the beginning to put themselves in a vulnerable position. Why sleep must be that the man earns it? Didn’t you sleep with him?

It’s okay to sleep before falling in love. It’s a normal biological need for everyone, and if you love each other, it’s okay to have sex!

Love comes in all sorts of gestures, but the goal is similar — to find true love, and sex is part of that search, isn’t it?

 Chapter 4 

You must have sex before marriage. How do you know if you don’t try it, and if you get married only to find out that the man is impotent, the happiness of marriage can not be guaranteed.

I have a female friend, who has been very conservative, vowing to put the first night in marriage. Only after they got married that she discovered that her husband is incapable. The two had a two-year sexless marriage,  at last the friend chose to divorce.

I watched a blind date program. A female guest said she was divorced after a year of marriage, but during this year she and her husband did not have a sexual experience.

She was married only after the discovery of her husband’s Sexual dysfunction. Even if she explained to every man to matchmaking, those men will still mind that she had a marriage.

In this way, society is so unfair to women that they are seen as second-hand divorced women when they have done nothing and it’s their husband’s problem, huh?

So, premarital sex is a very necessary thing to do, and it’s a responsible attitude to have.

As long as contraception is done well, there are many other benefits of regular sex.

For example, it promotes blood circulation, speeds up the rhythm of breathing, eliminates toxins from the body, and makes the skin more lubricious and delicate.

Such as, passionate kiss burns twelve calories, while ten minutes of caressing can burn fifty calories.

I’m sorry to say so much about these for professional reasons, but the most important thing I want to say is that sex has so many benefits, so it’s not always the woman who is at a disadvantage when it comes to having sex before marriage.

After the interview, I found out that there are different opinions on who is at a disadvantage, but it’s actually your choice whether you want to have sex or not.

Some girls feel that having sex drops the price and that they are at a great disadvantage.

In fact, from the point of most man, sexual relations is the icing on the cake, I will not because you always refuse to have sex and do not love you, also you will not be casually discarded just because you had a relationship. You’re an independent person, and he can’t put a price tag on you in the eyes of your lover.

Although I don’t approve of those random dates, don’t regret it if you truly love, many times these things are just natural occurrences.

But don’t feel that a sexual relationship can bind a man to never leave you. Because love need to operate, not anything that can be maintained for a long time.

Choose what you love, love what you choose, and have sex because of love, then you can have many choices to make love and be a human not lacking love.