Recently, a friend in the backstage asked me.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years now, and it’s been to the age of marriage, but my parents don’t like him and have been hoping we’d break up. I’m still struggling to hold on, but I’m really tired, should I give up?
In fact, the situation where parents are not optimistic about their children’s relationship and want them to break up is a problem that many couples will encounter.
In this regard, some people feel that parents are old after all, and know a lot about the world, so it is more accurate to see people. If parents do not agree, it must be that there is something wrong with the boy/girlfriend you are looking for.
However, some people say that parents and boyfriend/girlfriend have less communication and less understanding of each other, and they live their own lives. There is no need to pay too much attention to the views of parents.
So, what exactly should you do? I think it is important to separate this matter.
First, we must know exactly what the reasons for parental opposition are.
Parents are distraught that their children
will suffer when they get married.
This is still quite common. If it’s because the person you’re looking for is not particularly well off financially. Family members, especially the female parents, are afraid that their children will suffer if they marry in the future.
When the film star Liang Jiahui and his wife Jiang Jianian got married, Liang Jiahui was at his poorest, with all the money he had adding up to only 8,000 Hong Kong dollars.
They just rented a hotel room, hosted a few good friends from both sides, forged their own marriage certificate and exchanged rings, which was considered marriage.
Fearing their parents’ disapproval, they didn’t dare to tell their parents at that time.
Later, while Liang Jiahui’s career flourished, Jiang Jianian was so out of shape and emaciated that the two walked together even like mother and son! But Liang Jiahui is still inseparable from Jiang Jianian, spoiling her as a princess.
Liang Jiahui once said: in fact, the only reason I can work hard till today is that I made a vow to my wife, in this life I must let her and our daughter become the happiest people in the world!
In many cases, if your parents are opposed to your relationship because of financial reasons, don’t blame them for being materialistic. They feel that at least the material can be relied upon, which is better than nothing.
Parents’ views are not unreasonable. When falling in love, many people believe in living a good life with love, but there are many people married only to find that life without material basis is nothing but a mess.
For this situation, it is recommended that the child must have a frank talk with his parents, so that they understand your determination to create a better life together.
The boyfriends also need to work harder to let the female parents see your hard-working attitude. Young people can have no money, but must not be no ambition.
If the boyfriend obviously comes from a poor family and have a bad job, but also likes ease and dislike labor and does not think of progress, then how can parents believe that he will give you a better life?
What’s the point of holding on to such a relationship?
Parental prejudice against boy/girlfriend
This is also quite common. As many parents have little contact with the boy/girlfriend and characterize the boy/girlfriend based on the few times they’ve seen him or her, or they easily listen to others’ opinions.
When Zhang Ziyi and Wang Feng were together, we weren’t the only ones who thought they didn’t deserve each other and that it was too wrong for the “Internationally popular Zhang” to marry Wang Feng. Zhang Ziyi’s mother was firmly opposed and even said: “Don’t mention Wang Feng in front of me.”
But then, after the marriage, Zhang Ziyi and Wang Feng used their stable and happy life to make us understand: relationships are always like drinking water, both warmth and cool can only be known by themselves.
What our outsiders see is completely different from the parties involved.
Only when you really get in touch with each other and understand him/her, can you know whether this relationship is suitable or not.
In fact, she is a warm and attentive person after the aura of “Internationally popular Zhang” fading away. Wang Feng, in front of Zhang Ziyi, did not have a cool rock fan on the stage, but was a warm and straight man.
After the wedding, Zhang Ziyi’s mother took a 360-degree turn towards Wang Feng and became the one who said, “No one can say anything bad about Wang Feng in front of me”.
In the end, the relationship is still a matter of two people, whether it is suitable or not, only you know best. Parents will not live with you forever.
Therefore, in this case, as a child, you should be more understanding and tolerant, and your boyfriend/girlfriend should play the role of a middleman, try to reconcile any conflicts that may arise, and try to make your parents eliminate their prejudice towards your boyfriend/girlfriend.
Parents are unreasonable and controlling.
This is a rare occurrence. But it is true that there are some parents who take their children’s marriages as their own personal business. It has already been 9012, and they still think that marriage depends on the parents’ orders and the words of a matchmaker.
If their children don’t find someone according to their own ideas, they will strongly oppose and even deliberately meddle in their children’s feelings.
In such a situation, if you really love the other person, you will definitely try to persevere, rather than giving up.
But if you have no insight, and just follow your parents’ advice, then you’d better give up before it’s too late, and you’re only hurting each other by insisting.
To sum up, back to the original topic of the article: should you stick with a relationship that your parents don’t like?
My point is: stick with it! After all, it’s an experience to love wrong, but it’s a lifetime regret if you miss it.
Two people in love is not an easy thing to do.
Often times, many things are not done because we see hope, but because we persist.
Maybe at the moment, parents are against it, but after holding on for a while, it may be another world.