People often leave messages in the backstage asking, “how to chat with each other” and “how to find topics for chat”. I’ve shared chatting tips with you before, but there are still a lot of partners who have stepped on landmines.

I read a story: chatting with a man on a blind date who introduced himself as a programmer, I asked him a polite question: “Programmer? Is it going to be code all the time?” and he ended up talking to me about code all afternoon.

I’ve always said that you have to learn to let go of a conversation, and if it’s obvious that the other person isn’t interested, just euphemistically step over to another topic.

Today I’m going to talk to you about a few signs that the other person doesn’t want to talk to you.


Yes, yes, yes, yes… / Great, my X… / Okay.

It’s safe to say that these replies are truly universal, and no occasion to send them out is offensive.

-It’s as if I came over naked last summer and I want to go shopping this afternoon!
-Yes, yes, yes.

-I went out for a big fondue by myself today!
-That’s my brother!

-Do you work in Zhengzhou? I heard there’s a lot of good food there.
-Okay, not so much.

Every time a conversation encounters these few responses, any enthusiasm is quickly doused. These words are thoughtless and clearly perfunctory.

According to the normal chatting procedure, the next step you would talk about what yummy foods are available in Zhengzhou, talk about each others’ hobbies and tastes, and even make an appointment for the next meal together. One okay, no, is just a typical sign to end chatting.

You can always chat to the death, either because the other person’s emotional quotient is too low and doesn’t know how to warm up, or because the other person doesn’t want to chat with you and won’t pick up whatever stems you throw at them.
Think about it, if you end the conversation, you won’t feel any sense of disagreement, and you won’t feel that it’s over suddenly.

Contrast others and yourself. If you don’t want to end the conversation, don’t use these words unless your relationship is already OK.


Whatever you say, reply with emojis.

There are two kinds of emojis: one is that the other person doesn’t know how to pick up your words, and it’s awkward and polite to send an emoji; the other is that the other person just don’t want to get back to you, and want to end the chat, but you’re still sending messages, so he keeps returning your emojis.

If you ask him why he always returns your emojis no matter what you say, he may even say, “I like emojis, and they make chatting more interesting.

That’s not true. A really interesting chat is a combination of pictures and text, and text with interesting emojis, not just whatever you send just send emojis back to you. If you just send a flirt, and there is no more to it. That only proves that the other person doesn’t want to chat.
For those who only send emojis and do not send text responses, the final result can only be sending each other emojis, and then the conversation ends naturally without talking.

When you meet the kind of person who only replies to you with emojis, you can also reply with emojis. After a few rounds of repetition, the chat will drop to a freezing point and you can end it.


I’m going to eat/shower.

It is often said on the Internet that the response of the goddess and goddess to treat the spare tire exclusively is to take a shower and eat.

In fact, the real problem is not in the food and bath itself, but is not clear when the shower or meal will end, so that the other side has to wait hopelessly.

There is a small video on the Internet– two old friends party, because they haven’t seen for years, the atmosphere is a little awkward, one of them took the initiative to ask: why don’t we meet again next time?

According to the normal procedure the other party would say: okay, next time.

In the end, the other party doesn’t play by the rules: how about next week?

So the two of them started to bully each other: next week to go on a date/next week to work late/next week… and they ended up flipping through the calendar until years later without finding a day when they were both available.
Usually when we talk and really need to have a meal, we’ll tell the other person: I’m going to dinner, we’ll talk when I’m done. Some people will really stare at the screen and wait for the other party to return, only found that the other party has not been back and they will take the initiative to send over: you finished washing?
If the other person never replies after saying they went to dinner and showered but doesn’t tell you when it’s over, they’re really making excuses with you.

Don’t keep staring at the screen waiting for the other person to reply, and you look really stupid that way.


。。。。。。 /……

Let’s start with an example.

-It’s raining without an umbrella. So sad.
(My inner me has no waves, even a little urge to snicker.)

-Do you have a girlfriend, little brother?
(I don’t know how to reply to you, and I don’t want to reply to you, so please don’t say it.)

This kind of reply is really more perfunctory than an emoji… especially when you are talking to the other person or telling them about something very interesting, this kind of reply instantly makes you not want to chat.

But I have to admire the depth and breadth of the Chinese culture, which really does punctuate all conversations.
If the other person always gives you these punctuation marks, why don’t you reply back with a polite, non-embarrassing emoji to make the conversation end less abruptly?

If your relationship is very good, so good that you can end the chat at any time, and that you can meet without washing your hair for three days or brushing your teeth for two days, these signs are too normal for you to care.

But if you are still in the ambiguous stage, these are the signs that the other party is not interested in the current topic, and he is also really attentive to perfunctory you, this is high time to remind you of changing the topic at the right time.

Don’t wait until the other person doesn’t reply to you or delete you, or even think you’re inappropriate before you understand: it’s all chatty trouble.