Recently, a friend asked me during a consultation: my boyfriend and I used to be fine before, but lately it seems like he’s a bit off. He’s always busy, doesn’t reply to my messages for many times, even doesn’t answer my phone calls, and when I want to talk to him at night, he says he’s too tired. He’ll go to sleep first. They say a woman’s sixth sense is very accurate. Can you help me analyze if he’s having an affair with another woman?
This is how love is, a little bit of difference is easily detected by the other side, which aspect is different from the previous is easily felt out, and these changes are actually signs, but also a development process.
I’m going to talk to you today about the 7 processes of the other person’s change of heart in love.
Stage 1: He started to get very busy.
I hadn’t heard anything about what he’s been up to lately even though he was fine before, but suddenly he starts getting very busy. For example.
-Why are you being so sloppy?
-Crowded on the subway.
-Why are you being so sloppy?
-How do I get back to you during working hours?
-Why don’t you play with me?
-Tired from work during the day, I take a break and play a few games.
-Want to talk?
-What time is it? What are you doing up? You’re not sleepy, but I’m sleepy.
Anyway, you rarely have time to talk. You can’t talk more than 10 times a day, and every time it’s also hmmm, okay, I’m going to be busy. Maybe at this time he will still think you are very unreasonable, hoping that you become a little more good, not too clingy, and reduce contact.
Stage 2: You start to feel uneasy and start questioning.
After the first stage, a sensitive person may have noticed that there is a problem between you, and you can’t tell why, but you obviously feel different, and you find that you are so cold.
At this point a part of you will start questioning: why have you been like this lately? Are you really that busy? What the hell do you want?
The person who takes responsibility will tell you: there may be a problem between us. I don’t know what’s wrong. I really don’t want to contact you that much, and I’m tired.
The person who doesn’t want to take responsibility won’t tell you the truth, but only reassure you: no, I’ve been tired lately. Or he just takes stress as excuse, and afterwards keeps telling you not to think about it.
At this point, your relationship will ease up a bit, and you may think you’re overthinking it.
Stage 3: Cold violence. If you don’t reach out to him and he won’t reach out to you.
The second stage has just eased, and you think everything is improving in the right direction. But it’s just the result of his constant struggle to let go of the past.
Next he will become more and more cold. You text him, he replies back; you call him, he answers. But he will no longer take the initiative to contact you.
At this time you began to more freak out: do not know what he is thinking, and constantly hesitate whether he still loves you. Besides, you are more confused that how you are in this stage at last.
At this point, most girls’ emotion have ups and downs. They want to break up but also are reluctant to let go.
The fourth stage: the boy began to think that you zuo, in fact, you are keeping it by breaking up.
To the fourth stage, generally, the girl will break up, in fact, her heart is very painful. She thought she can cause the boy’s attention in this way.
The boy did notice, and he will retain you, coax you, and not let you leave. But so the cycle, he a cold you make a noise, you a quiet he was cold, You two are just in such a vicious cycle, eventually he began to think that you are too zuo and noisy, and it’s too tiring to be with you.
You learn to self-soothe, but you know it inside: you’re uneasy, and there’s a lot of uneasiness mixed in with this seemingly okay mood, and the relationship hangs on you at all times.
Stage 5: Détente, but this détente comes out of his apologies and amends.
This détente with apologies does not last long, and it is very short.
Stage 6: Love lost and found again.
Just when you thought love was coming back, he starts being cold and violent towards you again, and it’s worse than before. Your texts aren’t returned, your calls aren’t answered, you go to him and he doesn’t see you anymore.
Stage 7: Emotional Breakdown.
By this point, you’ve actually been so emotionally tormented by the relationship. You’re so afraid about breaking up but also afraid to return the relationship back. Remembering a little memory of what you used to do makes you cry at every turn. He also began to dislike you for becoming crybaby, thinking that you have no self.
Only you know, you love to cry because of fear, and his coaxing is not good because you know you are about to be separated.
But he won’t understand, and eventually he’ll break up with you and the relationship will end.
These signs you have already noticed. When you called video to him, he began to be impatient, his eyes began to dodge, did not report his daily whereabouts too much, and did not coax anymore. You know all these. But you do not want to face, you always reassure yourself : maybe he is really busy it, it will be good over this period of time.
Because you don’t want to admit that the one who attached great importance to you and accompanied by you for a long time, suddenly leaves you one day. You know you can only watch but can not do anything about it.
There is a boy beside me, and he has been with his girlfriend for a long time. Later he was tired, and took the initiative to break up. He said: in fact, I know what I do will make you happy, but I do not want to do.
You see, two people are together. How he doesn’t know how to love you. He’s loved you so much before, and the loss you feel is real.
It’s because you’ve seen the way he loves you, so you don’t want to admit that’s the way he doesn’t love you.
No matter what kind of love it is, once the two parties communicate less or even stop communicating, some changes that you don’t know are happening to the relationship. In the age when the cost of communication is so low, if the other person isn’t even willing to talk to you, there’s something wrong with the relationship.
In the face of these signs and the process of change of heart, I hope you can be brave, and maybe if you are brave enough to face and solve it well, you won’t get further and further apart and you won’t have to separate.
I hope you find it in time, the solution is perfect, and I hope you can go to the end no matter what happens.