At the certain stage ,a lot of lovers will meet a problem, that is , they feel that the other has changed. He is not as considerate as before, and she is not as gentle as before.
The two people no longer stick together all the time or talk about their inner thoughts frankly. They start to look down on each other. They also don’t have the patience to communicate with each other. As time goes by, their feelings gradually fade.
Yang Yang had a very good relationship with his girlfriend before. Like two conjoined babies, they lived together in a short time.
Later, in order to save money for marriage, Yang Yang began to work overtime and went home late every day. His girlfriend is relatively idle, so she will cook and wait for him to come back. After a period of time, Yang Yang worked more and more late. Their dinner time changed from 7:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m., and then to 9:00 p.m.
Two people began to quarrel, Yang Yang disliked his girlfriend for her lazy, not knowing how to make more money and spend less money; his girlfriend disliked Yang for not having time to accompany her, working all day.
Once after a quarrel, Yang Yang began to pack and prepare to leave. He found that his shirt was gone. Finally, his girlfriend said that the washing machine was broken. She took it to the dry cleaning shop.
“Why don’t you tell me the washing machine is broken?”
“You are so busy at work, how can you have time to repair it?”
Yang Yang was silent, thinking that he was also wrong, too busy to work with her.
It’s not a big deal for two people to express their inner thoughts. it’s just that one goes fast and one goes slow.
But in reality, how many lovers choose to break up when they have nothing to say, so what should we do when the relationship becomes more and more weak?
Every relationship has a period of independence, and even in the place you like when you are in love, you may become extremely disgusted.
I had a fan who consulted me before, she told me her love experience.
“I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years, and my relationship has been very harmonious. But I don’t know when to start. It’s more and more easy for us to quarrel. Any dispute can turn into a fierce quarrel. Each time, we refuse to give in.
Later, I gradually understood that most boys would have such a period of anti-dependency independency period in their relationships.
We gradually found a common way to get along. For example, when he played games, I would not mumble nearby. When I wanted to go shopping, he would accompany me even through he didn’t understand.
Later, after this period, we become more and more inseparable from each other because of the running-in before. “
In fact, most boys will have such a stage in their relationship. It’s not that they don’t like you, cheat you or what happens. It’s just that they need time to adapt. After this time, your relationship will become stronger and stronger.
The original sweet is gradually wear flat by life. You need to find the intersection of your life, find the way you will not be tired, and find your common way of life.
Exploring some long-term hobbies that two people have in common will keep your relationship fresh.
For example, play the same game, read novels of the same author, or watch the same TV series, variety shows and so on.
Common interests and hobbies can bring you a very important thing, which is “topic”.
Why do boys prefer to play games with boys and girls prefer to go shopping with girls? That’s because there are more “common topics” between the same sex.
So if you don’t have a common topic, you should cultivate one together.
Good love includes “growing up together”. Try to do some things together which can make two people spend time continually and interested.
When two people are in the same step, they will not have nothing to say.
After the hot love period, focus on improving yourself.
Sticking to each other can’t sustain feelings. The merits and shining point of oneself is the capital to hold on to the other.
Even if you can’t stick to each other every day, always praise each other.
For example, you look good today, the shirt you are wearing today is very handsome and so on.
Speak every day, don’t disappear suddenly, let the other person feel your existence.
The most important thing is to give each other freedom and space. If you keep holding on, sooner or later one of you both people will be upset.
There are two kinds of speechlessness: one is that they are very comfortable when they are together, though they are speechless; the other is that they feel that they should say something, but they seem to have said it all.
If it is the former, Congratulations, this is what love should be like.
If it’s the latter, maybe you need to be alert. Maybe the love in your eyes only has one corner of “passion” in the triangle.
People often say that love has a shelf life, or that love will eventually become kinship.
Its psychological essence, which is the part of passion in love, will be exhausted.
In the past, as long as you see each other at a glance, your heart beats. You want to know each other’s past, hobbies, thoughts about you, and every time you communicate with him or her, you always carry expectations.
But as you get along and get to know each other, the freshness decreases, hormones decrease, passion burns out, but intimacy and commitment are not established, and such an intimate relationship naturally seems awkward and weird.
So don’t pay much attention to the passion in love, but should learn to find happiness in the plain life.
It’s not the third party or the parents’ obstruction that make love fade, but because we are not good at managing it.
Love is not a refrigerator, plug in the electricity, put the food in, you can keep it fresh for a long time. ——Even the food in the refrigerator may go bad if it is kept for a long time.
One is willing to ask, one is willing to say, one is willing to pay, one is understanding, and one is unwilling to let go of each other’s hands all the time, so as to make the feelings go longer.
When the feelings fade, you may as well stop and wait for each other, let the feelings slow down, find our common way of life, learn to listen and share, learn to cherish each other.